Top 5 Unapologetically Mainstream Pop Breakup Songs

Friends break up with their boyfriends all the time (not me, obvi, since I'm forevs single) and for some reason the first thing I think to do is go to youtube and look up break up songs. I'll sometimes send them the video if appropriate, but usually I just rediscover how much I love pop music. It's embarrassing, I know, totes not hip or indie at all. But you know what? EFF YOU. I LIKE MAINSTREAM POP MUSIC and anyone that judges me for it can go to pitchfork and read reviews on whatever sophomore album their fave new artist released and how it bombed because no one can listen to synthy alt experimental pop blah blah blah for more than one album, and only if the album is less than 6 tracks. Anyway, here's my top five breakup songs by princesses of pop from this decade:

5. Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Okay, I know, it's like super new. But it's catchy and come on, are you telling me it hasn't applied to at least one relationship you've had? Like, what about when you were 15? To be totally honest, I could seriously put basically any other T. Swift song on this list, but I'm just gonna choose this one because it's the most recent. And I love this biatch, I don't care what people say. Judge me, world.



4. Rihanna - Take a Bow

So this is kind of specific to relationships that end in cheating... but you can still be angry and sing to it. The lyrics are classic. They make me seriously lol when I take a moment to think about how cutting they are. Opening lines? "You look so dumb right now standing outside my house. Trying to apologize, you're so ugly when you cry. PLEASE. JUST CUT. IT OUT." Sing it, boo.



3. Katy Perry - Part Of Me

Screw you, Russell Brand. It wasn't even your weird ass (and this is def a bullshit condition anyway) "sex addiction," but just total assholery on your part that broke up the relationship. Ugh, I mean, hasn't anyone seen "Katy Perry: Part Of Me" the movie, funded by Katy Perry? According to what happens in that, it's obvi Russell Brand's fault.



2. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

I think we all know by now that Kelly Clarkson has a lot of pent up resentment towards that idiot that broke her heart and then stomped on it with steel toed boots. This is legit the catchiest song ever. Although, I am pretty sure she means metaphorically what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, like, emotionally, because I can think of a few debilitating freak accidents that might not kill you but would definitely make you weaker physically.



1. Beyonce - Why Don't You Love Me?

Seriously classic. Love that she's playing dress up. Also, love that she's chugging a martini and angry-crying. Nothing says "I hate you" like bleeding mascara.



BONUS, Y'ALL! Of course, an oldie but a goodie: Alanis Morrisette - You Oughta Know

Real. Angry.

Britney Spears Has Still Got It

There's a few things I love about this video. 1. The studded leather jacket she's wearing in the beginning is to die. I need to find out what designer that is so I can drool over it some more. 2. The rave party at the end is awesome and makes me want to go dancing in a sewer. 3. Britney Spears still looks amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a pretty well-known fact that I love brit brit, but you can't deny that she looks pretty good for having had a public mental breakdown!



love her!

A Goofy Movie

This post is dedicated to my friend who says this is her favorite song. "Stand Out" from A Goofy Movie... weird that this is her favorite song. But once you start listening to it, it's actually really catchy. And I don't know if yall have ever actually seen A Goofy Movie, but it's awesome.

People Still Pay Avril Lavigne to Make Music?

LOL@Avril Lavigne, who just released her new video for her song, "What the Hell", which I (and I'm sure everyone else) was completely unaware was even out for public listening. The song is predictably pop and the video is being raped by product placement--seriously, could they linger on that Sony Ericsson digital camera for a few seconds longer? The song is, I admit, catchy, but I can't help be spiteful and look back on the days when Avril would get defensive and claim her music was alternative. To be frank, I'm shocked that over the course of over ten years, she has completely and utterly failed to grow at all as a musician... and judging from her wardrobe, as human being. Someone who has been divorced should stop dying their hair pink. Please.



I hope you LOLed. Everything about this video made me laugh. Even the last scene when I realize the male lead is wearing a Beirut t-shirt. How insulting.