I Love Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman is engaged and pregnant, and I love her so much I can't even find it in me to be jealous. She is so classy and, surprise, she has actual acting talent. I mean, don't quote me on this, but apparently you can be a celebrity, singing or acting ability not a requirement any longer (i.e. Kardashians, Ryan Seacrest, Paris Hilton, Kelly Osborne...). Natalie Portman is that shining star though-- the one actress that every guy is allowed to be in love with and every woman can admire and not be offended that her boyfriend thinks she's awesome. I mean, so far every guy I've met ranks Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba on their lists, and which I honestly don't really see the appeal of Jessica Alba, but whatever.


And the best part about her is that she is a FLAT-CHESTED CELEBRITY! Yes... you can have no boobs and people might still love you. There's hope out there, just hang on all my 34A friends roaming around in padded bras. Also, that fact that she can shave her damn head and still be attractive is some serious skill in the looks department.

You know, Natalie Portman's happiness and success almost makes me not upset about this shit right here:


Seriously. Jake G is the ideal man, right behind Chris Pine obviously, and he chooses to date TAYLOR SWIFT? UGH, I'm sorry Jake, but my respect level for you has dropped to the floor. Yes, T. Swift has some intense song writing and music ability, but she's like 9 years your junior and, most importantly of all, SHE HAS DATED JOE JONAS AND TAYLOR LAUTNER. Like, really? It's kind of like you're dating someone you would babysit. Sorry, I can't continue to talk about this or I'll throw up on my macbook.